A Legacy to be Grateful For

My mother, Nancy Ann Krebs, was a remarkable lady. It is largely because of her efforts that I came to have an interest in family history research.

Nancy was born December 5, 1930 - the second of five children and only daughter born to Louis Krebs and Florence Kurtz. She married my father, Donald Pendley on Christmas Day 1952 when she was twenty-two and he was twenty-four.

After a miscarriage early on, Nancy and Don had five children in quick succession: Wayne in 1954, Andy in 1955, me (Lynda) in 1957, Alan in 1959 and Sharon in 1960.

Nancy converted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in 1956, the year before I was born. My dad also joined the church a bit later, but it didn't stick with him. He became inactive by the time I was very young and later had his name removed from the rolls of the church. My mom, however, did have a strong testimony, and did the best she could to live according to the teachings of the gospel. It was through the influence of the LDS church that my mother became interested in genealogy work.

She wrote dozens of letters to people all over the country seeking information on various family lines. She placed ads in newspapers and magazines to try to make connections. Long before the Internet, she understood the importance of networking to extend family research.

My parents had a difficult, turbulent marriage that ended in divorce in 1970. I honestly don't have any memories of them ever being happy together, although I've been told they were in the early years. Beyond that, for much of my life my mom and I did not get along. During my stormy adolescent years we both said and did things that were hurtful to one another. Even after I was an adult with kids of my own, my mother and I were not close. Since I lived in a different state I seldom saw her and often went several months at a time with no contact at all. That was the case up until she died on December 21, 1983 at the age of fifty-three.

Over the years since my mother's death I've had lots of time to think about her life and the challenges she faced. There is much I wish had been different, both for her sake and mine. But despite that, I am so grateful for the legacy she left me. It is because of my mother I was taught about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. My mother also made a special point to be sure all of her children valued education and had a special love of literacy. It is absolutely because of my mother that I care about family history work. She got me started with genealogy research, showing me how to fill out a pedigree chart and family group sheet when I was about ten years old.

Because I believe families can be eternal I have confidence that one day I will see my mother again. I will ask her forgiveness for the many unkind words that I said to her when I was growing up and I will frankly forgive her for the things she said and did that I once thought were so unforgivable. I have come to understand that we are all complicated people doing the best we can with what opportunities and obstacles get dealt to us. We all fall short of being our best selves. I know both my mother and I definitely did.

One of the blessings of maturity is that finally I can put the resentments of the past behind me. Today I am very grateful for all the ways my life is blessed for having had Nancy Krebs Pendley as my mother. I will never completely understand what it was like for her to deal with her unhappy marriage, poverty, health problems, and other challenges she faced. Sadly, I know my mother did not have a very happy life. However, one of the things that did bring her much pleasure and satisfaction during her difficult life was doing genealogy. I hope that as I carry on the work that she began all those many years ago, that in some way she may be looking down and smiling.