In June of 1990 Ensign magazine published a short essay I wrote about the power of family reunions titled "The Tapestry Called Family". In that little story I talk abut family reunions that were held each year to celebrate the birthday of my great grandmother - Gertrude Anna Young Kurtz, who lived to be 102 years old.This picture is from her 100th birthday party showing five generations of our family. (Left to right: me , then my mother (Nancy Krebs Pendley Powell), Grandma Kurtz (Gertrude Anna Young Kurtz), my grandmother (Florence Kurtz Krebs) and down in front my two sons, Aaron and Forest Baldwin. )
All of my life my Grandma Kurtz was the oldest person I had ever met. As a young girl, I could not imagine her ever having been like me or that I might ever be as old as she. However, as I say in my essay, through family reunions I began to see her as a whole person rather than an "ancient curiosity". Those family reunions helped me develop a strong sense of identity as a member of our clan.
On my father's side of the family we got together far less often. However, the few times we did left a lasting impression. My father was one of nine children and each of those nine had several children of their own, so I had lots of cousins. We were a large and boisterous clan given to lots of drama. Whereas my mother's people were generally more reserved, my dad's relatives were very intense.
Uncle Tom always wanted to argue politics. My Aunt Marge had once lived in Bermuda and had somewhat of a mysterious past. Somewhere between the nine there was usually some feud going on. The backbone of that family, however was the heritage to my pioneer grandparents and the sense of attachment we all had to the ranch they homesteaded in Oak creek, AZ. Even though many of us traveled far and wide and ended up living in other parts of the country, that ranch and the many stories of that place were a part of us all.
Just as all families are different, each family gathering will be unique, depending on what you want it to be.
There are a number of online resources with tips for how to organize a family reunion. Here are just a few:
About.Com
Hub.com
Scrapjazz
Temple University
Some reunions will involve just a small group, such as when I gathered my siblings and their spouses together last summer.
Others will be multi-generational affairs including larger groups. Some families only get together every few years, especially when family members live at far distances from each other. Others find it works best to have a regular time for gathering, acknowledging not everyone will make it every time. My husband’s family gather together every year on the Saturday before Memorial Day. We all know that is when it will be so we can plan our work and travel schedules accordingly.
Whether you want to have something simple in an informal setting or a more structured reunion with time for creating a formal family organization is up to you.
At the annual Bennett gatherings each family group taking turns for who has the responsibility for organizing and providing the main dish for the meal. Everyone else brings pot luck salads and desserts.
Some families choose to make it easy by having their reunions catered. This can be especially helpful when there are a lot of people traveling long distances. It's a bit hard to bring a casserole if you are driving cross country or coming by plane.
There is room for many different styles in family reunions. Some have talent shows or games with a family theme. One year we had a family auction and raised money for a family member with major medical expenses. The important thing is that you plan well and be open to suggestions from others.
This summer I hope to gather the cousins from my father's family in a Pendley Cousin Reunion. I know that not everyone will be able to come. But I am starting now to get the ball rolling so that I can organize a reunion that will hopefully be meaningful to as many as can make it. I will also create a "Cousin Directory" with photos and contact information of the entire tribe which will be distributed to everyone in the family, so whether they are actually at our gathering this year or not, hopefully they will begin to feel a bit more connected to the family.
When was the last time you had a family reunion? Maybe it's time to start planning the next one!
